=16th June 06=

Meet baby after work for dinner and most importantly my first lesson for TENNIS! I'm definitely look forward to that coz I had always wanted to pick up this sports like 4 years ago?? Guess it was in my poly days... Too bad I stayed too far from my poly, otherwise I will definitely went to sign up as my CCA.

My dreams going to come true.... Played for nearly 2 hours. Exhausted, hardly have wind for that night, was damn stuffy and humid!!! Perspire quite a bit. Sorry for my baby. As he had back injury and he had to keep picking balls around the court. But I can see that he's been very patient with me. Guess I'm the one who's getting impatient. What the hack I'm thinking?? Halo... People willing to coach and here goes my impatient!!! Just couldn't understand????

Bet both of us are tired. Tomorrow, baby still have to wake up early for Choy Gee and Linda's wedding. He is one of the brothers for Choy Gee... All the best for the brothers!!!!!!

For the past few months, baby really tolerate my nasty "attitude". I just don't understand why I will behaviour in such manners. Seriously, I REALLY DON'T KNOW!!! But there's one thing for sure, baby gets hurt deeply in the heart.

Although I can't say much, guess the only thing that I can do is to change my "attitude". The fear of losing him is increasing... ... Scare that my nasty "attitude" will cause him away. Fear of losing someone you love is indeed very scary...!!!! Now, I'm experiencing it... Shit!!! Damn shit!!!! What am I suppose to do?

Really have to change my "attitude"!!!!!!!!

Initially, my "attitude" wasn't like that. It evolved over time... Is it a self-automatic defence system of my brain or body????But what am I defencing for??? I don't know. Why often I had to react in this way??? WHY??? WHY???? I hate myself!!!! Really hated myself so so much!!!!

It had affected us in one way... Definitely, I hope that it will not ruin the relationship. What I can say is that baby is always so forgiving, loving. At times, I did take him for granted, thinking that he's always there for me. Damn shit!!! I shouldn't have this kind of feelings right??? Argh..!!!!!

=4th June 06=

Bright sunny Sunday, both of us woke up quite early to do some groccies. People must be thinking what the hack of waking up so early?? Shouldnt we suppose to sleep till noon..... Heee.....Baby wants to prepare pasta for lunch. Interesting??!!! As this was the first time baby stepped into kitchen and prepare lunch for the family. Guess he seldom cooks at home. So, I was quite surprised by it. He was so ethuastic about it, he even went to internet to search for the recipe before we head down to NTUC. Definitely, I will be supporting him.

Action starts...!!!!! We start at around 11am. But I had to mention that the cutting of the ingredients were done by me. Not fair lar.. He should be doing all the steps by himself right?? Lots and lots of garlic and mushroom were needed. But till the end, we realise that mushroom was not enough. (Need to buy more mushroom). A lot of laughter in the kitchen. His sister and mum keep coming in the kitchen and sees how he does it. Most of his family members were doubting whether this pasta would turn out well?? In actual fact, this was what I think so too. Hee....

Baby had read through the recipe thousands time and at times he still forgot when to add the ingredients. Like for instance the adding of lime juice and 1/2 cup of pasta water. You should be looking at his reaction to it. Is damn funny. Too bad that I didnt manage to record it down. His action definitely would bring lots of memorable memories for us and this is just the begining of the journey. Both of us still have a very long way of exploring each others strength and weakness. He's definitely my sunshine.

Baby.... We should do it more often. Is really fun preparing lunch together.

=2nd June 06=

Friday is the day that I had met up with my FYP mates from TP. Guess this is the very first time that we had met after our graduation. Everyone was busy with their new life. Our first taste of working life, starting to enjoy what's call Adult Life.

Baozhu, Sally and I kept talking non-stop. All of us was like trying to update our recent status to each other. Like fighting "attachtion" from each other. Heeee...

We didnt gather that long coz Sally had to attend some work-related issue. But we promise there will be the next time that we will meet and I believe it will.

I was waiting for dear at the "taxi-stand" outside Carls Junior. Damn crowded, guess the PC fair at Suntec did some contribution to the crowd. I hate crowds!!!!! Baby being so nice to pick me up.

He took an urgent leave from work to bring his dad for chemo therapy. So he's not working today!!! Guess he had realise that although he didnt talk much to his dad, his prescence did make a difference. That's good, baby. Is never too late to realise it. I dont want to see you regretting of not talking to your dad. Make full use when he is still around.

Today is the first day that I reported for work, where I have my Student Internship Program (SIP) when I'm schooling at Temasek Polytechnic (TP). I felt going back "home" again. Everyone in the company is still there, surrounding hardly change, boss attitude remains.

Although I knew all the people and how does the company function, all those formalities which includes introducing me to the whole company, "touring" of the company telling me where are all the stuff being kept and so on... ... But I already knew all these. By the way, I still have to go through it.At that time of SIP, I'm still a student after all. Now, totally different. I'm a full-time staff, and more responsiblities is on the way.

Whole day was taking down notes on how to do that and do this. A lot of the terms they used were so familiar, but it just couldnt ring a bell in my head. Oh gosh.... Here goes my stress!!!!! Guess I had been lost touch of my area of studies too long like for 2 years??? Have a lot of catch up to do in order not to make any mistake in my job.